Noir City festival returns to Chicago with darkness aplenty

The Music Box Theatre will host Noir City: Chicago.

The Film Noir Foundation’s Noir City festival returns for the fourth time to Chicago’s Music Box Theatre, from Aug. 17-23.

The FNF’s Alan K. Rode and noted writer/historian Foster Hirsch will share hosting duties. All titles are presented on the big screen in glorious 35mm prints.

This year’s lineup looks great! Highlights include:

William Castle’s “Undertow” (1949), which was shot on location in the Windy City.

Alan Ladd x 2: “The Great Gatsby” (1949, Elliot Nugent) and “This Gun for Hire” (1942, Frank Tuttle).

Jean Negulesco’s “Three Strangers” (1946) starring Geraldine Fitzgerald, Sidney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre. Screenplay by John Huston and Howard Koch.

Cornell Woolrich x 3: Noir master Robert Siodmak directs Ella Raines and Elisha Cook Jr. in “Phantom Lady” (1944). Based on a Woolrich novel. “Black Angel” (1946, Roy William Neil) More suspense from Woolrich, this time starring Dan Duryea, June Vincent, Broderick Crawford and Peter Lorre. “The Window” (1949) Ted Tetzlaff directs an adaptation of Woolrich’s “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.”

Virginia Mayo and James Cagney star in "White Heat," directed by Raoul Walsh.

Phil Karlson’s “99 River Street” (1953) Evelyn Keyes comes to the rescue when her buddy John Payne, a washed-up boxer, is framed for the murder of his wife.

Robert Ryan x 2: “Caught” (Max Ophuls, 1949) and “On Dangerous Ground” (Nicholas Ray, 1952).

Kiss Me Deadly” (1955, Robert Aldrich) Screenwriter A. I. Bezzerides adapted Mickey Spillane’s detective novel to create this film noir classic. Ralph Meeker stars.

White Heat” (1949, Raoul Walsh) James Cagney is unforgettable in one of noir’s greatest roles, outlaw and killer Cody Jarrett. The superb cast also includes Edmond O’Brien, Virginia Mayo, Steve Cochran and Margaret Wycherly as the bad-ass mama at the core of it all.

Also, be sure to check out the FNF’s Marsha Hunt interview. The actress joined Eddie Muller and Alan K. Rode at the 14th annual Noir City: Hollywood for a rare screening of “Mary Ryan, Detective” (1950, Abby Berlin). Hunt discussed her work with Fred Zinnemann, Jules Dassin, Orson Welles and others. I watched the event live and it’s terrific – it’s hard to believe she is 94! You can watch the interview at the FNF Video Archives.

Free stuff from FNB: Win Humphrey Bogart gangster films set

RA Kerr won the reader-giveaway prize for June/July: the Warner Home Video/Turner Classic Movies Greatest Classic Legends: Humphrey Bogart set, which contains “They Drive by Night” and three other titles.

In August, I am giving away the WHV/TCM Greatest Gangster Films: Humphrey Bogart set, featuring “High Sierra,” “The Petrified Forest,” “The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse” and “All Through the Night.” I will run a review of “High Sierra” in August. The set is listed at $28. Here’s more info on the gangster movies.

To enter this month’s giveaway, for the Bogart gangster films set, just leave a comment on any FNB post from Aug. 1-31. We welcome comments, but please remember that, for the purposes of the giveaway, there is one entry per person, not per comment.

The August winner will be randomly selected at the end of the month and announced in early September. Include your email address in your comment so that I can notify you if you win. Your email will not be shared. Good luck!

The Noir File: Monroe, Welles, Heflin and more

By Michael Wilmington

A noir-lover’s guide to classic film noir on cable TV. All the movies listed below are from the current schedule of Turner Classic Movies (TCM), which broadcasts them uncut and uninterrupted. The times are Eastern Standard and (Pacific Standard).

CO-PICKS OF THE WEEK: “The Asphalt Jungle” and “The Lady from Shanghai”

“The Asphalt Jungle” has a near-perfect cast.

The Asphalt Jungle
(1950, John Huston)
Saturday, Aug. 4. at 6 a.m. (3 a.m.): Huston’s classic heist movie, scripted by Ben Maddow from W. R. Burnett’s novel, has a near-perfect cast: Sterling Hayden (the muscle), Jean Hagen (the moll), Sam Jaffe (the brains), James Whitmore (the lookout), Anthony Caruso (the safe man), Marc Lawrence (the backer), Brad Dexter (the torpedo), John McIntire (the cop), Louis Calhern (the double-crosser) and Marilyn Monroe (the mistress). One of Jean-Pierre Melville’s three favorite films.

The Lady from Shanghai” (1948, Orson Welles)Wednesday, Aug. 8. at 10:45 a.m. (7:45 a.m.): Adventurer/sailor Welles gingerly woos a very blonde Rita Hayworth, wife of the wealthy, evil Frisco lawyer Everett Sloane, and victim of Glenn Anders as the very weird George Grisby. A flop in its day, now considered one of the greatest noirs and a Welles masterpiece. The highlights include an amazingly crooked trial scene and the wild chase and shoot-out in a hall of mirrors.

Richard Allan plays Marilyn’s lover in “Niagara.”

Sat., Aug. 4: Marilyn Monroe Day

8 a.m. (5 a.m.): “Clash by Night” (1952, Fritz Lang) Lang’s cool, underrated adaptation of Clifford Odets’ smoldering play. With Barbara Stanwyck, Robert Ryan, Paul Douglas and Monroe.

10 a.m. (7 a.m.): “Niagara” (1953, Henry Hathaway) One of Monroe’s sexiest roles was as the faithless wife of tormented Joseph Cotten, the two 0f them trapped together in a cabin at Niagara Falls. Jean Peters is the good wife next-door.

8 p.m. (5 p.m.): “Some Like It Hot” (1959, Billy Wilder) Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, two dance-band musicians in drag, flee the Chicago mob and George Raft after witnessing The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre; Monroe is waiting for them aboard the Miami train. Only part film noir – the rest is gangster movie parody and screwball comedy – but noir can be proud to claim even a portion of the greatest American sound comedy. [Read more…]

Honey, your August noir horoscope is here …

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your August is full of spicy mystery and sultry sideways glances. And happy birthday, Leo and Virgo! A special shout-out and remembrances to legendary Leos John Huston (Aug. 5), Lucille Ball and Robert Mitchum (both Aug. 6), Alfred Hitchcock (Aug. 13), Alma Hitchcock (Aug. 14), Ann Blyth (Aug. 16), Robert DeNiro and Sean Penn (both Aug. 17), Coco Chanel Aug. 19, and one-of-a-kind Virgos Elliott Gould and Ingrid Bergman (both Aug. 29).

Lucille Ball: Aug. 6, 1911 – April 26, 1989

Leo (July 24-August 23): In anticipation of your birthday – perhaps a milestone – you’ve been assessing, analyzing and reflecting. Now it’s time to just be. Oh, and open presents, eat cake and drink champagne. If you’re worried about getting older, reinvest that energy into something productive. As the comedy genius Lucille Ball put it: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” Toward the end of the month, you’ll gain clarity about your career direction.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): There are certain inalienable rights of the femme fatale: sleeping in, owning too much lip gloss and refusing to diet. Stand your ground if someone in your inner circle disagrees with your stance on these issues. Besides, with your knack for diplomacy and tact, you’ll soon be preaching to the converted. Meanwhile, prepare to pace yourself as birthday-party invites pop up. You’ll be much in demand. Make time to savor summer pleasures – as a result, romance may find you. Choose your battles on the 25th.

Libra (September 24-October 23): You may feel that you’re butting your head against the wall on the career front as a project drags on or a job-search seems to stall. “Why isn’t Easy Street showing up on my GPS?” you ask. Here’s why: Things usually come to you so effortlessly that it’s a bit of a shock to realize you may need to hunker down and persevere to attain your goal. Horrid-sounding, I know. Don’t fret, though, it won’t come to the point of actually getting your hands dirty and chipping your nail polish. Just go with the flow. And, as a happy distraction, your love life heats up, especially midmonth.

Robert Mitchum: Aug. 6, 1917 – July 1, 1997

Scorpio (October 24-November 22): A chance meeting spurs you to take action on an important issue. (Of course, in noir, is anything really left to chance?) You will make the best choice possible. Your flair for stylish living comes in handy when a friend has wonderful news to celebrate – perhaps an old-school Hollywood soirée is in order? Even more than usual, you will be admired and adored on the weekend of the 20th. Make a point of managing expectations at work.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): According to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, “It has been estimated that young girls, no matter how seriously they have been working, spend at least half their free time thinking about men. And how right they are! A job may not last a lifetime, but it is always to be hoped that a marriage will. What could be more important or more worthy of the deepest concentration?” So, go on, give in to romance and dwell on passion this month. Obsess all you want to about the object of your affection. Live in the moment and don’t give a hoot about the future or the past.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): You’ve had a lot on your mind this summer but difficulties and worries will start to dissolve around the 12th. This means you can cut yourself some slack; enjoy a few lazy days and languid nights. You can also focus on key priorities like looking good and letting yourself be admired. Meanwhile, helping a friend with a communications project brings welcome attention your way. Don’t do anything you don’t feel like doing on the 2nd, 7th, 11th, 14th, 17th, 20th, 21st … you get the idea.

Robert De Niro was born Aug. 17, 1943.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Calculating risks and then taking them are the first order of business this month. Could be something little, like revealing a detail of your past to a new friend or love interest. Or it could be something major, like planning a move to a new locale where no one knows your alias and your mugshot isn’t on file. Either way, change is good. Around the 12th, you may feel that you’re looking for a needle in a haystack. If so, get the hell out of the hay field, head for the city and get yourself a cocktail, pronto!

Pisces (February 20-March 20): You may be running hot and cold about a person in your life or a place where you spend a lot of time. To gain fresh perspective, make a getaway and spend some time alone: an extra-long massage, a day at a spa or a weekend retreat on bewitchment. We all need time to ponder, and more importantly primp, in solitude. You may get some exciting news on the work front and be asked to share your novel approach. A little mayhem isn’t a bad thing on the 13th – in fact it might help clear the air.

Aries (March 21-April 20): An intriguing mystery comes your way around the 14th. It may speak to your inner private detective but would searching for clues entail getting off the sofa or cutting down on the time you spend on catnaps? In other words, before you devote a ton of energy to a potential time-suck, assess what’s in it for you and whether it’s really worth your time. If you’re not into it, don’t feel guilty about turning down the job. Enjoy the power of saying no; it’s more than a little addictive. Your love life really heats up around the 8th and again at month’s end. Enjoy the power of saying yes; it’s more than a little amusing.

Ingrid Bergman: Aug. 29, 1915 – Aug. 30, 1982

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Polishing your résumé is always a good idea; you never know when the perfect job may pop up. Meanwhile, about that yearning to be your own boss: draft a business plan, even if it’s highly preliminary. Then devote a few hours each week to researching sources of funding. It may be a long journey but at least you’ve taken the first step. On the 8th, recognizing the absurdity of an ongoing situation brings fresh insight. Midmonth, some shameless flirting leads to a delicious little adventure.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): A request from a client or colleague that at first seems a chore in fact reveals one of your hidden talents. When you enjoy something, you rock results. Meanwhile, realize that while you are often quite content as a self-contained little island, it’s probably a good idea to reaching out to others and be the initiator on the social front. You live to be inquisitive, after all, so this will ensure you have plenty of people to pepper with questions. Let loose on the 6th and set the tone for the whole month. Shrug off self-doubt on the work front.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Attention to detail. Striving for quality. Patience. Having an old-school attitude toward your work may sometimes make you feel like you’re going against the grain in an age where many people don’t seem to be able to read an entire text message. So what? The grain is highly overrated and your commitment to producing fine, thoughtful work will serve you well in the long run. Around midmonth, your Sig Oth may be getting on your nerves just a tad – perhaps he forgot to cut the crust off your sandwich or overbuttered your toast? Let it slide. It may take him a lifetime to learn how to wait on you properly.

The Noir File: Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, dueling noir queens in ‘Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?’

By Michael Wilmington

A noir lover’s guide to classic film noir on cable TV. All the following movies are from the schedule of Turner Classic Movies (TCM), which broadcasts them uncut and uninterrupted. The times are Eastern Standard and (Pacific Standard).

PICK OF THE WEEK

Saturday, July 28

Bette Davis earned an Oscar nom for this role; Crawford was overlooked. When Anne Bancroft won but was not there to accept, Crawford was poised to stand in and accept on her behalf.

8 p.m. (5 p.m.): “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” (1962, Robert Aldrich) Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, rivals for most of their careers, got two of their greatest roles when they were cast by director Robert Aldrich as the house-bound Hudson sisters, Blanche (Crawford) and Baby Jane (Davis) – two ex-film-stars turned eccentric recluses – in this mesmerizing, darkly funny, sometimes-touching suspense classic. Together with Billy Wilder’s “Sunset Blvd.,” it’s the cinematic definition of Hollywood Grand Guignol. With Victor Buono as the fat mama’s boy pianist, Marjorie Bennett as mama, Maidie Norman as the good housekeeper and Anna Lee as the kind neighbor.

Adapted by Lukas Heller from Henry Farrell’s novel; shot and edited by two masters, Ernest Haller (“Gone with the Wind”) and Michael Luciano (“Kiss Me Deadly”). A grisly, poignant masterpiece. If you aren’t both chilled and moved by Baby Jane’s line “You mean all these years we could have been friends?” you may have a heart of stone.

Sunday, July 29

10:15 a.m. (7:15 a.m.): “Boomerang!” (1947, Elia Kazan) True-crime drama thrillers, shot in real locations (“Kiss of Death,” “Naked City“) , are among the gems of film noir. Here’s a top-notch example, based on fact, about a prosecutor (Dana Andrews) and his crusade for justice for a defendant he’s convinced is wrongly accused. Scripted by Richard Murphy.

The superb cast of Kazan regulars includes Lee J. Cobb, Arthur Kennedy, Karl Malden and Ed Begley, Jane Wyatt and Sam Levene.

4 a.m. (1 a.m.): “The Fugitive” (1947, John Ford) John Ford usually isn’t ranked among noir directors, though 1935’s grim I.R.A. film “The Informer,” is definitely a noir precursor. “The Fugitive” – based on Graham Greene’s great novel “The Power and the Glory” and one of Ford’s own favorites of his work – qualifies as Western noir just as much as Raoul Walsh’s “Pursued” or William Wellman’s “The Ox-Bow Incident.”

Henry Fonda stars as an alcoholic, conflicted priest fleeing the police in “The Fugitive,” which is based on Graham Greene’s novel “The Power and the Glory.” John Ford directs.

With Henry Fonda as a sinful and alcoholic man of God fleeing the police in a tyrannical, anti-clerical Latin American state, Pedro Armendariz as his relentless pursuer, Dolores Del Rio as their mutual love (a point fudged in this censor-bound film), and Ward Bond as the gringo outlaw.

The sublime monochrome cinematography is by Mexican genius Gabriel Figueroa (“Los Olvidados”). The script is by Ford regular, master dramatist and occasional noir scribe Dudley Nichols (“Scarlet Street,” “The Informer,” “Stagecoach”).

Incidentally, the other Fords I would classify as Western noir are “Stagecoach” (1939), “The Searchers” (1956), “Sergeant Rutledge” (1960) and “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance” (1962). “Stagecoach” and “The Searchers” are on TCM on Wednesday, Aug. 1, as part of the John Wayne tribute.

Thursday, Aug. 2

11 p.m. (8 p.m.): “The Thin Man” (1934, W. S. Van Dyke) The first and best of all the plush M.G.M. films in which William Powell and Myrna Loy impersonated Nick and Nora Charles, the slightly pixilated and urbanely witty couple who alternated screwball romps with tough, brainy detective work, solving murders and finishing champagne bottles with equal flair. That golden couple was inspired by the relationship between Dashiell Hammett and his longtime companion, playwright/screenwriter Lillian Hellman.

This is the only one of the Thin Man movies actually based on a Hammett novel. The adaptor/scenarists were another witty couple, Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett (“It’s a Wonderful Life”). The supporting cast includes Maureen O’Sullivan and Cesar Romero.

The Noir File: Hawks, Hemingway, Bogie and Bacall Have it

By Michael Wilmington

A noir-lover’s guide to classic film noir on Turner Classic Movies (TCM). The times are Pacific Standard (listed first) and Eastern Standard.

Saturday, July 21

Bogie and Bacall create one of the most magical moments in movies.

5 p.m. (8 p.m.): “To Have and Have Not” (1944, Howard Hawks). One of my all-time favorite movies is this crackling adaptation of Ernest Hemingway’s novel of boating and gunplay, reset in wartime Martinique and legendary for its incendiary love scenes between co-stars Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. (They met on the set here and later married.) Bogie is at his toughest and most likeable as Harry Morgan, a charter fishing boat captain torn between Vichy government thugs and French partisans.

The sensational 19-year-old Bacall plays singer/adventuress Marie (a.k.a. Slim), who memorably asks Harry “You know how to whistle, don’t you?” The supporting cast includes piano man Hoagy Carmichael, Marcel Dalio (“Grand Illusion”), Dan Seymour and Walter Brennan (great as Harry’s pal, Eddie the Rummy). Two Nobel Prize winners, both friends of Hawks, were among the writers here: original author Hemingway (whose book was considerably changed) and screenwriter William Faulkner.

Tuesday, July 24

7:15 a.m. (10:15 a.m.): “Strangers on a Train” (1951, Alfred Hitchcock). Two strangers meet on a train: social-climbing tennis pro Guy Haines (Farley Granger) and charming rich-kid psychopath Bruno Anthony (Robert Walker). Since they both have someone “ruining” their lives (Guy’s estranged wife and Bruno’s father) Bruno proposes, seemingly playfully, that they swap murders. Guy thinks it’s a joke, but Bruno is dead serious. One of Hitchcock’s best: a superb noir adapted from Patricia Highsmith’s classic literary thriller, with an amazing performance – blood-chilling, hilarious and strangely moving – by Walker. Ruth Roman, Leo G. Carroll, Marion Lorne and Hitch’s daughter Patricia Hitchcock are in the supporting cast. Raymond Chandler was one of the screenwriters.

9 a.m. (12 p.m.): “Jeopardy” (1953, John Sturges). Barbara Stanwyck, desperately trying to save endangered hubby Barry Sullivan – trapped by an accident and the rising tide under a Pacific Ocean pier – is herself kidnapped by Ralph Meeker, a ruthless outlaw with a yen for Stanwyck. A real nail-biter, directed by John Sturges (“The Great Escape,” “The Magnificent Seven”). Scripted by Mel Dinelli.

1:30 p.m. (4:30 p.m.): “D.O.A.” (1950, Rudolph Maté). Quintessential noir. Edmond O’Brien, as an accountant visiting San Francisco, is slipped a dose of slow-acting poison; he has only a day to find his mysterious killers. With Luther Adler, Pamela Britton, Beverly Garland and Neville Brand. Co-scripted by Russell Rouse.

Film noir treats this weekend at the American Cinematheque

Authors Christopher Nickens and George Zeno will sign their book “Marilyn in Fashion,” today at the Egyptian Theatre, before a screening of 1952’s “Don’t Bother to Knock” starring Marilyn Monroe and Richard Widmark.

Using many rare photographs, the book traces the evolution of Marilyn’s style. The signing starts at 1 p.m. and the film at 2 p.m. The Egyptian Theatre is at 6712 Hollywood Blvd. in Hollywood.

Additionally, “Citizen Kane,” Orson Welles’ masterpiece, plays tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Aero Theatre in Santa Monica.

On Sunday, July 22, at 7:30 p.m., there’s a great Otto Preminger double-bill: “Laura” (1944) and “Bonjour Tristesse” (1958). Don’t miss it!

The Aero Theatre is at 1328 Montana Ave. in Santa Monica.

Stanwyck makes implausible seem inevitable in ‘No Man’

By Michael Wilmington

No Man of Her Own/1950/Paramount Pictures/98 min.

The first of three wildly divergent movie versions of Cornell Woolrich’s novel “I Married a Dead Man,” this bizarre blend of domestic drama and film noir stars noir queen Barbara Stanwyck as Helen Ferguson, a ruthlessly abused, jilted (by Lyle Bettger as slimy Steve) and pregnant city gal, who, on a train ride home, tumbles into a bog of false identity and blackmail.

After Bettger gives Babs the boot (preferring blonde femme fatale Carole Mathews), Helen meets a generous young couple, Patrice and Hugh Harkness (Phyllis Thaxter and Richard Denning) on the train, and then is mistaken for Patrice, after the train crashes and many (including the nice couple) die.

Directed by Mitchell Leisen, “No Man” has a prototypical Woolrich “trap” plot.  Since no one in the immediate Harkness family ever met Patrice, Helen more or less falls into the deception. The Harkness household, especially matriarch Mrs. Harkness (Jane Cowl), accepts Helen as their new kin. And Hugh’s brother Bill (John Lund of Billy Wilder’s “A Foreign Affair”) falls in love with her. What happens next? Well, I doubt if you realize how slimy Lyle Bettger can get.

Stanwyck suffers wonderfully here, and she almost single-handedly makes the implausible seem inevitable. Jane Cowl, a one-time Queen of Broadway, who crammed in a few movie roles at the end of her life (she was dying of cancer when she made this one), is touching as Mrs. Harkness. The movie doesn’t really start cooking until Bettger reappears, and by then, they seem to expect us to swallow anything. (Even if you can’t, it’s murderous fun.)

Babs Stanwyck is abused and jilted by Lyle Bettger as slimy Steve.

The original novel “I Married a Dead Man,” which Woolrich signed with his preferred pen name William Irish, makes more sense than the “No Man” script (co-written by that estimable small-town scribe Sally Benson of “Meet Me in St. Louis.”)

The other film adaptations of “Dead Man” include a 1982 French version called “I Married a Shadow” by Robin Davis, starring Nathalie Baye and Madeleine Robinson, and a weird 1996 comedy version, directed by Richard Benjamin, starring Ricki Lake and (as the mother) the wondrous Shirley MacLaine. That one is called “Mrs. Winterbourne.” A better title might have been “I Married a Madhouse.”

The French “Shadow” is the best of them so far. There’s room for another, though “No Man of Her Own” isn’t bad. As for “Mrs. Winterbourne,” turning the nightmarish “I Married a Dead Man” into a kooky comedy seems misguided. The results are a little forced and even a little slimy – but not as slimy as Lyle Bettger.

Olive Films recently released “No Man of Her Own” on DVD.

‘Crime of Passion’ a burst of Stanwyck brilliance

Today is Barbara Stanwyck’s birthday! Stanwyck (July 16, 1907 – Jan. 20, 1990) ranks as one of film noir’s most important actresses, having played perhaps the greatest femme fatale of all, Phyllis Dietrichson in “Double Indemnity.”

Always popular with audiences and admired by colleagues for her uncommon intelligence, versatility and professionalism, she also starred in “The Strange Love of Martha Ivers,” “The Two Mrs. Carrolls” “Sorry, Wrong Number,” “The File on Thelma Jordon,” “No Man of Her Own,” “The Furies,” “Clash by Night,” “Jeopardy,” “Witness to Murder” and “Crime of Passion.”

Crime of Passion/1957/United Artists/84 min.

Aah, how often has Film Noir Blonde fantasized about giving up her dreary day-job. If only she had a lackadaisical husband whose career needed a jumpstart, she’d quite happily quit writing and meddle in his affairs full time. In director Gerd Oswald’s “Crime of Passion” (1957), Kathy Ferguson Doyle (Barbara Stanwyck) makes that noble sacrifice for her hubby.

Police Lt. Bill Doyle (Sterling Hayden) is go-along, get-along, but that’s OK. His wife Kathy (Barbara Stanwyck) has more than enough ambition for both of them.

Kathy is a tough, high-profile advice columnist for a San Francisco newspaper. She’s also a singleton who’s stylish, smart and openly defiant to the male chauvinists in her social circle. She loves dishing out wisdom and doesn’t consider herself lovelorn or lonely-hearted, dismissing marriage and family as “propaganda not for me.” (An interesting turn of phrase from writer Jo Eisinger.)

That’s before Kathy meets her blonde Adonis, aka Police Lt. Bill Doyle (Sterling Hayden), who comes to town with the Los Angeles police as they expand their search for a criminal. Kathy helps them by putting a plea for surrender in her column. The cops nail the killer and Kathy gets a job offer from a New York paper. Alas, she never makes it to NYC because she’s fallen head over heels for Bill. The idea of them moving east for her career doesn’t occur to anyone, even Kathy.

Shortly into their relationship, Kathy has an OMG-what-did-I-do-last-night? moment and asks Bill: “Who are you? Who are you?” Next she peppers him with questions, like “What are your favorite colors?” In fact, what she did was get married. Yep, just like that.

Kathy can barely contain her frustration with the dim-witted convo.

Kathy quits writing, moves to LA and tries to become a dutiful wife. “I hope all your socks have holes in them and I can sit for hours and hours darning them,” she gushes to Bill.

Unfortunately, however, Kathy seriously overrated the appeal of darning socks for hours at a time (shocker) and becomes darn bored.

At social gatherings, she gets stuck chatting with the ladies about cream cheese and olives, and 36-inch TVs. Not exactly thrilling stuff and Kathy starts to go a little crazy. OK, a lot a crazy. (Note to self: Before ditching my drivel-writing, check that husband has cool friends to hang with or at least lives near good shopping and spa treatments.)

To occupy her brain, Kathy engineers a series of stunts to accelerate Bill’s ascent on the career ladder. She befriends the police inspector’s wife Alice Pope (Fay Wray) and does her best to sabotage Bill’s competition, captain Charlie Alidos (Royal Dano). His annoying wife Sara (Virginia Grey) relentlessly promotes her mate, but she’s no match for Kathy.

That just leaves the job of getting the big cheese, police inspector Tony Pope (Raymond Burr), to rally behind Bill. So, she has a fling with Tony, natch. The only problem is that when Tony decides he’s made a mistake, the unlikely lovers don’t see eye to eye, and she grabs a gun …

German-born Gerd Oswald, the son of director Richard Oswald, made his first foray into the noir genre with 1956’s “A Kiss Before Dying” and worked with Anita Ekberg on three noir movies. He also directed “The Outer Limits” and “The Fugitive” TV shows. “Crime of Passion” may not be the director’s finest film, but it’s still strong storytelling – well paced with compelling performances and visually engaging cinematography by Joseph LaShelle. Stanwyck was 50 and Hayden 41; it’s fun to watch these two old pros reeling off their lines and riffing with Burr, of “Perry Mason” TV fame.

I’ve seen some harsh online assessments of “Crime of Passion.” Sure, it has its flaws (55 years later, parts of it might seem a bit stilted and corny) but it’s still a lot of fun and has some pretty biting social commentary to boot.

If you judge a work of art (or entertainment) from the past by contemporary standards, it’s easy for it to fail. A girdle from 1957 didn’t have Lyrca; that doesn’t mean it didn’t do the job.

‘Crime of Passion’ quick hit

Crime of Passion/1957/United Artists/84 min.

Career women really got under the skin of 1950s America. For proof, take a look at Barbara Stanwyck in “Crime of Passion,” where she is the ’50s equivalent of Carrie Bradshaw, and watch what happens when she gives up her newspaper career to marry Sterling Hayden, a dishy but dull police officer. A woman not content with darning socks? Clearly, she’s insane. Gerd Oswald directs.