Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your September is full of intriguing possibilities and sublime pleasures. And happy birthday, Virgo and Libra! A special shout-out and remembrances to alluring Virgos Yvonne De Carlo (Sept. 1), Salma Hayek (Sept. 2), Evan Rachel Wood (Sept. 7), Brian De Palma (Sept. 11), Tommy Lee Jones and Oliver Stone (both Sept. 15), Lauren Bacall (Sept. 16) and Sophia Loren (Sept. 20) and exquisitely talented Libras F. Scott Fitzgerald (Sept. 24), William Faulkner, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (all Sept. 25), Gwyneth Paltrow (Sept. 27), Naomi Watts (Sept. 28) and Lizabeth Scott (Sept. 29).
Virgo (August 24-September 23): With a birthday nigh (or just celebrated) you may be planning a shopping trip or two. If Man Du Jour wants to come along, that’s not a bad idea. You don’t want your arms to get all red and sore from carrying bags or your feet to get tired from multiple trips to the car. When perusing the racks, remember what Virgo icon Sophia Loren (Sept. 20, 1934) said: “A woman’s dress should be like a barbed wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.” At work, your precision pays off. At play, romance comes to the fore. Enjoy!
Libra (September 24-October 23): Make the most of your birthday this year – so you don’t like the number, what’s the alternative?! In fact, milk the occasion for all its worth (the more celebrations the better) and let your fam and friends spoil you day after day. If anyone accuses you of egomania this month, deign to explain that everyone is entitled to be spoiled once in a while and that you are more than happy to return the favor. Then let your ever-present generosity take its course. Be prepared to act as a teacher or guide on the 9th.
Scorpio (October 24-November 22): A difficult situation resolves itself and you feel a sense of freedom. Remember that in the present moment, everything is perfect. Your positive energy has a healing effect on someone close to you. Midmonth, you will find clarity regarding a decision you’ve been struggling with. Trust that it’s meant to be – there’s no second-guessing Fate in Noirville, you know. Love is in the air, or should I say shadows, on the 14th and 23rd.
Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Be grateful that you can charm people without even lifting a finger – not everyone has this unique ability. Charm will be mighty handy as you re-establish contact with a person from your past or, more challenging, commune with who you were in the past. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Think about where you were, the progress you’ve made and what’s next. Then, clear your palate and get back to the dark side by popping in a Fritz Lang film noir: Let the fatalism begin!
Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Pout if you feel like it. It’s entirely possible that you have grounds to be annoyed with a person or situation. Remember though that anger often gives us a false sense of power. That said, if you do need to clear the air, do it sooner rather than later. Then, put your feet up; that was bloody exhausting! Treat yourself to a few new clothes or a gorgeous lip color. You will be going out on the town. Well, duh.
Aquarius (January 21-February 19): It’s time to make a bold move. Life is short and the police might be tailing you. So, take a plunge, take the money and run, or take the ultimate dare and wear fire-engine red and fishnets at 8 a.m. Whatever the action, it’s likely something you’ve been wanting to do for a while. A long shot suddenly seems eminently viable. If your lover keeps you happy, be sure to let him know. Your contentment may inspire a friend to re-enter the dating world.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Take a little risk and you will reap benefits. More than likely, you may need some time to yourself this month to decompress. Make sure you have your getaway route all mapped out. And guilt? Oh honey, that’s something we femmes fatales just don’t give in to. Toward the end of the month, you find a way to deal with a tyrant. As you add a few pieces to your fall wardrobe, be prepared for a flurry of compliments and extra attention.
Aries (March 21-April 20): Think small this month – remember that little words, gestures and acts have great power. On the 12th, you may feel the urge to rant or raise your voice at a lazy accomplice or errant admirer but that will likely lead to a stalemate. See if there’s a way to make your point without getting riled and keep this person squarely on your little finger. At work, stand your ground, even as your professionalism is lauded and your ability praised.
Taurus (April 21-May 21): Your steadfast determination always gets rave results. If you hit a wall on a project this month, try to pause and reassess without stressing. Create a place of calm and you will replace frustration with inspiration. You will experience a breakthrough in communication with Man Du Jour. Be sure to keep your lips soft and kissable, you’ll be busy on that front. Let your intuition guide you, especially on the 6th and 16th.
Gemini (May 22-June 21): According to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, the word “valise” should not be used instead of “bag” or “luggage” or “suitcase” because it is an unnecessary Gallicism. An unnecessary Gallicism? Heavens above, how perfectly frightful! Well, hair-splitting aside, you have need for a stylish tote as travel beckons. Whether for work or pleasure, it will likely bring a fresh new perspective. And don’t rule out the possibility of meeting a mysterious stranger along the way. Midmonth, you will claim an unlikely triumph.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): They say all that glitters is not gold, but silver and platinum will do fine too. This is a great time to focus on your prosperity – find a way to cut expenses, generate more revenue, ask for a raise or look into being a kept woman. Your passion and intensity make others look to you for leadership. Be fair to all parties as you juggle various interests. Your favorite man may surprise you before month’s end.
Leo (July 24-August 23): You will feel especially powerful this month as you easily connect and hit it off with nearly everyone you encounter. Celebrate your magnetism and relish your independence. A rivalry finally subsides and a friendship follows. At work, remember to provide a pat on the back to a colleague; it will be appreciated. Men are like putty in your hands. Well, what else is new?