Honey, your December noir horoscope is here …

Brad Pitt turns 49 on Dec. 18.

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your December is full of expensive champagne, exquisite gifts and elegant entrances to parties. And happy birthday, Sagittarius and Capricorn! A special shout-out to Sag stars Julianne Moore (Dec. 3), Kim Basinger (Dec. 8), Brad Pitt (Dec. 18) Julie Delpy (Dec. 21) and Vanessa Paradis (Dec. 22); and super-sexy Caps, the late Ava Gardner (Dec. 24), Sienna Miller (Dec. 28) and Marianne Faithfull (Dec. 29).

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Possibility abounds now and in the New Year. Don’t concern yourself with what’s realistic, feasible or practical. There will be plenty of time for thorough scrutiny later on but, at this juncture, dream big and think boldly. It will come together one piece at a time. On the romantic front, you may be tempted by a coy boy; enjoy the dalliance without rushing into anything. If attached, celebrate your passion, hell, get creative. The holiday-party circuit will keep you extra busy and may open new doors.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): As usual, hard work often pays off for Capricorns. Diligent portion control followed by triumphant shopping these last few weeks has been well worth the effort. You are being noticed even more than usual so try to be fair and carve out a little time for the slew of people wanting to socialize. That said, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Remember that mid-month when you feel bound to do something simply because of a crossed conversational wire. A brilliant idea occurs to you around the 8th.

Aquarius (January 21-February 19): Why does everyone say “high maintenance” like it’s a bad thing? Striving for perfection has its place. Don’t lower your lofty standards but remember to cut yourself and others some slack now and then. You rarely act on a whim (except when shoes, jeans, boots, sweaters, purses, scarves, bracelets, fur vests, little black dresses and anything from Anne Fontaine are involved) preferring instead to do your homework and make informed decisions. By-the-book types with no imagination may envy your visionary approach to enjoying life. Let them.

Sienna Miller will be 31 on Dec. 28.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): There is a French proverb that says, “Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today, do not expect to regain her tomorrow.” In other words, find time to nurture your nest egg, even if it feels like a chore. Toward the end of the month, you may receive a flurry of compliments so when someone tells you for 697th time that you’re amazing, do try not to yawn. The 21st is a great day to be spontaneous.

Aries (March 21-April 20): Appreciate life’s simple pleasures – a flawless manicure, a dress on sale, an alibi that sticks. Make the most of every day and treat yourself to something fabulous for a holiday party. And consider hosting a vintage cocktail party yourself. True, it would be nice to dust a bit and polish the silver but, let’s face it, you’ll enjoy the party even more if you prepare by sleeping in late, having breakfast in bed and getting a massage and a pedicure.

Taurus (April 21-May 21): According to Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948, which provides advice on tipping cigarette girls in nightclubs (10-15 cents), traveling in a Pullman car, and saying good evening at a dance, the word escort “should not be used instead of “The man I was dining with” or, “The man who had taken me to the theater.” While this little tidbit will more than likely land in your mental file on useless information, try this month to resist putting labels on any budding relationships. Keep things a bit mysterious and you will be rewarded by magic. Stand your ground on the 30th.

Gemini (May 22-June 21): Focused and strong 99 percent of the time, explore what it would be like to be vulnerable. Not so good? OK, well, you tried. The point is: be open-minded this month while still being true to your inner-bitch-on-wheels. Why not mix it up ’40s style – write a real letter on paper and snail mail it, order some black coffee and a slice of pie in a diner, flirt shamelessly, dress for dinner. The 15th is a day to return a wicked favor.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Are you being pressured to commit? Think it over carefully; there’s nothing quite as satisfying as freedom. Helping a friend draft a communiqué to a recent ex brings you unexpected clarity re: a pattern that is common in your own relationships. Your knack for choosing stunning accessories triggers a delicious flirtation on the 12th. If you feel the urge to offer advice to a close friend or family member, proceed with caution – it may be better to listen than to provide counsel.

Leo (July 24-August 23): You might be swamped with a new creative project and feeling a bit under the gun. First, ask yourself if that gun could be of any practical use on the project. A tad extreme? Well, then you must trust that your imaginative and resourceful self has what it takes to get this scheme up and running. Aim high but be realistic – this venture will evolve and improve over time. Don’t forget to take breaks and reward yourself for reaching milestones. By the end of the month, you will find extra inspiration.

Virgo (August 24-September 23): Burning the candle at both ends looks likely. Another day, another party. To pace yourself, remember that you should always leave a party wanting one more drink. If the travel bug bites, start planning an exotic trip for next year. Paris perhaps? Or somewhere closer and cozy. At work, you will find an elegant solution to an awkward problem. This month, toss your guy a few extra compliments; I have yet to meet the man who dislikes praise. If single, toss a new guy a compliment; I have yet to meet the man who dislikes praise.

Libra (September 24-October 23): There is a worry that has been gnawing at you for far too long. A femme fatale must acknowledge her fear (we all have them) and learn to let go. Otherwise it will paralyze you and then how would you zip your dress and fasten your ankle straps? Scoff at crazy risks, of course, but believe that you can face and figure out whatever life throws at you. Aah, feels good, no? Meanwhile, don’t take sides in a family dispute. Be prepared to keep a secret, even though there may be pressure to spill, on the 23rd.

Scorpio (October 24- November 22): Work might be a source of irritation this month, especially if it means some extra hours at the office and extra time with a certain colleague. Focus on results and don’t worry if you’re not best friends with your entire work gang. It’s better to be professional than popular. If job-hunting, keep your momentum going, even though it may be tempting to put your search on hold. You’ll need extra energy for life outside the office. Be rendezvous-ready at the drop of a hat; it might just start raining men.

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